FOUR POUNDS TO HIT MY HALF WAY!!!

Hard to believe I'm almost half way and it's been six months! I guess I can live with that! Half way at six months would have been better but I'm not complaining! Minus 56 pounds is a good thing, especially after not moving much in December, I mean the scale, not me.

My exercise has fallen already, too. I was kidding myself when I thought my life style could support a four day a week workout, but I'm determined to make changes. Once tax season is over I'm back at it four days a week, and in the meantime, I will try hard to put in at LEAST two days a week, which I've already not been able to do this week. I keep wishing I had a treadmill at the office on Saturday so I could just walk all day long! ha But I can stop by tomorrow night after work to do a quick workout at the Express center on my way home. I just have to commit to that and I have!

Why on earth am I working two jobs???? I guess I have been asking myself that more and more over the past few days. What is it about me that makes me want to work so much? Not that I ever get to really spend the money, it all goes to bills, and we have a long way to go until we are out of this deep hole. But things are definitely looking up. And I try HARD not to let the setbacks destroy me. They used to, but that's all we had for a while.

But I'm moving...moving forward, moving DOWNward, and moving toward a much happier me...it feels pretty damn good.

Sigh

I was ready. I started at the gym, which is great. I was pretty ambitious and decided that I was going to do an aqua class tomorrow morning. High hopes. I'm feeling so fat and disgusting right now I can't even sleep. I feel like I've been at a stand still, and worse than that, I'm up three pounds!? I just can't figure that part out, though. I haven't been eating more, actually I've been eating less. I started working out three days ago, and I'm up three pounds? Arghhh. I guess after 55 pounds I'm having a not so great feeling about myself, even after losing all that weight. I feel like I need to throw myself into something, like working out every day, or something!!!! I'm not giving up, by any means, I am just feeling like something is not working and I'm not quite sure what that might be.

Almost 2010...

Mere days until 2010 and what have I to look forward to? SHOPPING! Yes, shopping. I'm now in a size 18, and still finding things in my closet that now fit. That's always fun. Matter of fact, I'm wearing a new pair of old jeans now! I am trying to think about when I bought them. I remember I was with my friend Lisa, the shopaholic, but darn good at it! I bought these jeans and a top that I can also now get into. I'm very excited about that. I also now have one full green trash bag full of clothes that I will NEVER wear again, and THAT also feels great! I did have to go buy a new winter coat, as I didn't have one that fit well and the nurse at Dr. Snyder's office said it was about time I got a new one. hehehe So, of course, I did.

Also, I need to find my motivation to exercise. I know that joining a gym will not be it. One thing is, I need to get moving to lose more weight. I think I've hit my first plateau, at least it feels like it to me. I'm still doing great with my band, and had my second adjustment, which REALLY feels like I'm restricted now. It's pretty funny, it's the first time since the surgery that I really do feel that restriction. I got pretty sick last night, but I think it was because the chicken we cooked in the crock pot had too much grease on it. It was the first time I felt nauseous, not just "full", to the point of barfing. Not fun, and not much, but then I had horrible heart burn when I went to bed. Needless to say, although there is lots of chicken left, I won't be eating any more of THAT! But overall, the adjustment is just right.

I've also gotten into bad habits, like not journaling my food. I have the website to go to, but have only used it to adjust my weight and to update when I get adjustments. Other than that, I'm not using it as I should. I guess I haven't done too bad, though, because I just put in my foods from yesterday and I'm getting more than enough proteins in. However, I also feel like I'm getting in too many calories. Time to get back on that web horse!

But, overall, I'm definitely looking forward to 2010. First, the field trips we do at the end of the school year will be MUCH easier, physically! I still want to hit goal by my one year anniversary, which means I HAVE to get moving! But, overall, I already feel so much better about myself, and my husband REALLY notices. :) He keeps calling me skinny, which of course I'm far from, but I guess since he saw me 55 pounds heavier, it might look that way to him. :) But, that's why he's my husband, complete with rose-colored glasses. :)

So, as I move, more quickly than years before, into the new year, I have so much to look back on in 2009 and know I am heading in the right direction for 2010. :)

TIGHT!

Wow...that was a learning experience. Slime number two! She said soft foods today, I was starving last night as all I could eat was breakfast yesterday, at 6 a.m. and never could have anything else. She said fluids only. So, that's what I had. Water. And when I got home last night I had a smoothie. This morning she said soft foods, so I made myself my eggs, but instead of frying them (I use a fat free spray in the pan) I scrambled them with a little bit of cheese so they didn't dry out much, took two small bites and regretted it all the way to school! It took 20 minutes for it to settle, and finally when I arrived at school, I wasn't swallowing my spit anymore! Yikes!

Guess I'll take it easy today, but hopefully it's not too tight! I am now down 52 pounds! Woo Hoo! I have to get my proteins in, though. I have some powder to add to water that is a protein drink, so that will help, and I will probably try cottage cheese (no sunflower seeds though) and some yogurt, which should go down nicely. I would really love to know how this works, exactly, I mean, how much space is there now with 6.8 cc of fluid in there? A quarter sized stoma? Sometimes, in the past two years, I would have loved to be able to see inside my body. Like how, exactly, does food cause me to slime? Where is it getting stuck? I know that sounds odd, but really, I would love to watch it while I eat and see how it works. Odd ball. hehehe

But, back on track. Now I need to get MOVING! Exercise has still eluded me. Not that I've been seeking it out. Bad girl.

ADJUSTMENT NUMBER 2!

Four CCs the first time, 2.25CCs this time. Up to 6.25 CCs of liquid and still losing! Duh! I had my second adjustment today and all went well. I was excited when I saw Amanda rather than Kim, whom I was supposed to see. Honestly, I never have seen Kim, and have grown really fond of Amanda, so it really didn't matter, but I was happy to see her there, and then I got to have her as my nurse. Anyway, it's one of those things where you bond with someone and learn to trust them, and the last thing I need is a monkey wrench in the works, so for me, all is well.

And I'm still losing. Down one half pound since yesterday and that was even after having a bit of yummy, and very fat-filled, egg nog that my teammate brought in for me. No, no alcohol, but hopefully it will in a day or so! hehehe I feel so on track, still, and finally experienced sliming. Okay, it's not something I had really yearned to experience, but it was a good thing to know what it was and that I NEVER want to do it again! Pot Roast. I asked Steve to buy a pot roast we could put in the crock pot. It was delicious, but it was also a bit on the dry side. I had eaten nearly one slice when it hit. It wasn't going down. I swallowed, and swallowed, as my throat filled with saliva, but still, no deal. I just kept swallowing. Finally, after a few minutes, I could finish my carrots, but what an experience. As I said, one I care NOT to repeat. Although today at my appt. it happened again. This time, however, it was intentional.

For this appt. she inserted a LOT of saline into my band. She said the way she wanted to adjust it was to over fill it, then ease some out so that it's the perfect fill. They brought in two little cups of water and a straw. She inserted the needle, had me drink, slowly, and sure enough, within my last sip from one cup, I got that feeling again. FROM WATER! She eased a little out until I felt it go away, and drank the other cup. All good. So, I supposedly am at the right level now, although I can't eat solids until tomorrow, which sucks because I haven't eaten since 6am! Yikes. My energy is fading but I'm okay. YAY FOR ME!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

DECEMBER ALREADY! I know I've really fallen behind in my blogging so maybe I can catch up right now.

I'm down 51 pounds now and I feel really good. I am hoping that this trend continues, however because I'm starting to get hungry and find I can eat more than usual, it's time for another adjustment. I have an appt. for next week.

I guess I thought it would be drastically different for me, like a complete and total lifestyle change, and I guess it has been, but not as much as some describe. Some people say they can't eat any pasta anymore, or certain foods, because the foods don't agree with them, but I haven't found a food that didn't like me yet...or ever. :)

I do find I'm dedicated to this program, just as I have been with all other programs, but this time I really feel this will work for me. It feels too easy, at times, and other times I know I could be getting more calories, some good, some bad. Thanksgiving was good. I even treated myself to a small sliver of pumpkin pie. And I relished every single delicious taste. I went up about 2.5 pounds over that break, but mostly because I sat on my butt and really didn't DO anything! The food was secondary. However, after only three days back at work, I'm down all that, back to my minus 51 pounds. Actually, I'm halfway there, if I look at it the way I should.

My actual goal is 145, which is quite the lofty goal. However, I will be MORE than happy with 150, not that I'm changing my goal, but even now this feels good where I am, so either way.

I guess I'll have to do another post since my time has run out and here come my students! Where does my planning time go... Sigh... No wonder I have no time to eat!

BUBYE 50 POUNDS!!!!

I DID IT! DOWN 50 POUNDS! I can hardly believe it! Four months and 50 pounds, quite the accomplishment! My next goal is 16 pounds, so I can get the heck out of the 200s but other than that, it's down, down, down! What a great way to start the day!