FOUR POUNDS TO HIT MY HALF WAY!!!

Hard to believe I'm almost half way and it's been six months! I guess I can live with that! Half way at six months would have been better but I'm not complaining! Minus 56 pounds is a good thing, especially after not moving much in December, I mean the scale, not me.

My exercise has fallen already, too. I was kidding myself when I thought my life style could support a four day a week workout, but I'm determined to make changes. Once tax season is over I'm back at it four days a week, and in the meantime, I will try hard to put in at LEAST two days a week, which I've already not been able to do this week. I keep wishing I had a treadmill at the office on Saturday so I could just walk all day long! ha But I can stop by tomorrow night after work to do a quick workout at the Express center on my way home. I just have to commit to that and I have!

Why on earth am I working two jobs???? I guess I have been asking myself that more and more over the past few days. What is it about me that makes me want to work so much? Not that I ever get to really spend the money, it all goes to bills, and we have a long way to go until we are out of this deep hole. But things are definitely looking up. And I try HARD not to let the setbacks destroy me. They used to, but that's all we had for a while.

But I'm moving...moving forward, moving DOWNward, and moving toward a much happier me...it feels pretty damn good.

Sigh

I was ready. I started at the gym, which is great. I was pretty ambitious and decided that I was going to do an aqua class tomorrow morning. High hopes. I'm feeling so fat and disgusting right now I can't even sleep. I feel like I've been at a stand still, and worse than that, I'm up three pounds!? I just can't figure that part out, though. I haven't been eating more, actually I've been eating less. I started working out three days ago, and I'm up three pounds? Arghhh. I guess after 55 pounds I'm having a not so great feeling about myself, even after losing all that weight. I feel like I need to throw myself into something, like working out every day, or something!!!! I'm not giving up, by any means, I am just feeling like something is not working and I'm not quite sure what that might be.