More excited than ever!

I haven't had a chance to write since the nutrition class I had the other night. It was a huge amount of information but rather than leave me worried or afraid to tackle this, I'm more enlightened than ever! Yes, it's going to be a huge change, and I will have to admit that the best part of the night was talking with a couple and two other people who were also there for the class. Something one of them said made me think hard, and remember something very painful. We all had our stories of what was the breaking point, over and over again, but someone made the comment that the time they finally said, "enough", was when they were denied a ride on the roller coaster at Elitchs because she was too big.

I'm anxious to know when my surgery date is, and I'm even more anxious to make sure I have all the lab work done that I know needs to be done before then. I'm going to call the office on Monday and see when they are going to send the letter to my Dr. at Kaiser. I dropped her an email yesterday and heard back today saying she will watch for Dr. Snyder's letter. Obviously she has not received it yet. I know I probably have two things I need to do before we can move on. One is probably through Mental Health, and the other Pulmonary through my asthma guy. I'm not worried. I just want to surpass those hurdles so I can then move on and schedule the surgery. I'm still targeting the end of June, but I scare myself when I set that target because I know how disappointed I get when I don't meet it.

Another thing I keep thinking of is do I really want to move forward with it when Steve doesn't yet have a job. I know we have the finances all figured out, but going into debt again when he doesn't have a job doesn't feel right. I know we'll save a ton in eating out and food, at least from my standpoint, but still don't feel justified in moving forward unless that happens. Why do I put those kinds of pressures on myself?

The good news was that I not only got exercise today, I FEEL IT! No, it wasn't some organized work out routine, or a run on the treadmill (that actually makes me laugh out loud thinking I could actually run on anything, let alone a treadmill!) but instead a field trip that I was both excited to go on, and dreaded at the same time. One mile to the light rail. Walking around downtown all day. Then a final walk from the light rail back to school. But I did it. I may not be able to walk for the rest of the weekend, but I DID IT! And I wish I had worn a pedometer because I'm guessing between the two miles to and from the light rail, the downtown walk was probably easily a couple more miles, so I walked at least four, maybe five miles today! And boy, do I feel it! Probably not too great of an idea, but I had a good time with my group, and best of all...I did it...without having to take one puff from my inhaler...

I'm thinking I better celebrate victories now, because I'm soon to have one right after another, and I really need to learn how to be proud of myself...I really don't have much practice in that at all.